


a cuddle in the midst of a navy blue night

by alittlerayofphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cuddles, Cuddling, M/M, parent!phan, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlerayofphil/pseuds/alittlerayofphil
Summary: the terrible twos sucks, and dan just needs a good cuddle.





	a cuddle in the midst of a navy blue night

Parenting was not that easy. Their parents had each respectively warned them about the downfalls of parenting, sick nights, the crying that wouldn’t stop, stalker type staring at three in the morning when your child couldn’t sleep. Dan and Phil had told their parents they were used to staying up late, rejecting the natural circadian rhythm and talking until beyond late hours and still managing to rise at early hours for meetings and package deliveries. They each had had their share of restless nights, coffee-fueled days, and still being busy as hell.

The first bit was easier than they expected, when their little bundle of joy, Delta, had been born she was easy to manage. She was very calm in the hospital, she didn’t cry much and she ate like a champ, making all her feedings, and following the weight charts nearly to a T for her checkups. Phil had called his parents, explaining how it was shockingly easier than he thought.

“Just wait for the terrible twos,” Kath warned preemptively. “Your quiet little baby isn’t gonna be so quiet.” Phil laughed briefly, despite agreeing with her in nearly the same exact breath.

And boy was she fucking right, as always.

Delta wasn’t even two when she started throwing tantrums, realizing she had more power over things, yet simultaneously realizing she had none at all. She would curl up to Dan when she realized that she was being naughty around Phil, and vice versa. She was cute, too, with her little light brown ringlets, and they had to fight against the immediate “aww” response to their testing little girl.

Parenting was very hard, one of the hardest things Dan and Phil had ever signed and paid for. Naptime was hell, Delta never wanted to sleep during the day hours. Somehow, everything in her brained worked in the sense of, ‘ _if Daddy and Papa don’t have to, why should I?_ ’ and it wreaked havoc in the Lester household.

Delta’s sad tears had dripped down her red cheeks, her sobs making Dan and Phil’s heart hurt.

“No, Dada,” she had cried as Dan had picked her up gently to tuck her into bed once she’d finished her lunch. “Wanna play!” Her tears had started, soaking into his shirt. Dan had just held her tighter to him, letting her cry herself out.

“Delta, you gotta lie down now,” He’d say, despite being afraid of another outburst. Her cries increased in volume, but she’d settle down. She had had enough time on the naughty step to know that it was not worth fighting her parents. Her tears continued as he would put her on her bed, sometimes he’d ask her if she wanted a certain blanket, or even if she wanted to wear something else to sleep in. She usually would sniffle and ask for her stuffed cat, Socks, or to just wear one of her dad’s shirts to sleep so she could feel closer to them.

Those two hours, while she slept, were spent working on videos, and editing, and making up for lost time in each other.

Parenting was possibly the hardest, and most difficult payment the pair had ever made.

Nights had been spent with them cuddled up together at first, talking about how it was a lot of work, but how worth it was. She loved them with every tiny little fiber of her being, and they loved her in turn, but there were still hard nights. Ones where Delta would refuse to go to sleep, where she’d scream and cry, and latch herself to the parent not attempting to put her in bed. Where she’d get read a story, and still cry for twenty minutes after Dan or Phil had tucked her in and kissed her forehead goodnight.

Dan buried his face into Phil’s t-shirt after they had both decided to turn in early. Phil laid on his back in just a black t-shirt and his underwear, with his arm wrapped around his shirtless husband. He pressed his lips to the top of his head and just kissed his hair repeatedly.

“Parenting sucks,” Dan whispered. He moved his head so that Phil and him could make eye contact. “Most the time it feels like she only loves you.”

“She’s two,” Phil reminded. “She loves you, she just loves not going to bed too.”

Dan sighed, peering over to the night stand that held a digital clock. _11:23_ it read. Had it been any previous year this would have been early for him and Phil, who would stay up in the early hours to explore each other and watch the TV shows they hadn’t had time to in the day, but now it felt as though those hours were spent for actually sleeping, and making sure they could keep up for more exhausting days of watching their little one before they could put her into a preschool.

“I never said it was logical thought,” Dan said. He leaned in closer and wrapped his own arm around Phil’s waist.

“You didn’t,” Phil agreed. He tugged Dan yo higher in his chest so that their faces were a mere few inches apart.

They looked at each other, for a minute. They reminisced in each other’s eyes, of nights spent like this, but with less clothes, where they would cuddle naked and just kiss, and talk. Where they were themselves without the pressure of social media on their relationship. Where they could be intimate and kind, and not have to worry about speculation. Where they were free to just have loud sex, and not worry about their two year old waking up. Where the night could last until the sun had risen, and they were finally settling down to sleep.

Phil leaned in and pressed his lips against Dan’s, running his hand along the tense muscles of Dan’s back. Dan breathed out with his nose and kissed again, gripping his bottom lip between his teeth and tugging just a little, in the way he knew Phil liked. Phil continued the movement of his hands, and he just held him close, kissing the mouth he’d kissed for over a decade, the mouth that he had heard scream over games, and cry over sad shows, the mouth that had shouted and been angry. The mouth he loved.

Phil kissed that mouth, the one that had just told him that he’d felt unloved by their child.

“I love you,” Phil whispered in between a few of their kisses. “You’re a great dad, even when your don’t feel like it. No matter what your brain tells you.”

Dan leaned away after planting one final kiss to his lips. “I love you even more.” Phil grinned and loosened his grip on Dan.

They both smiled happily, staring into each other’s  droopy eyes, until they couldn’t keep them open any longer, exhaustion finally taking them for the night. They leaned into each other again as they began to sleep.


End file.
